105+ Dark Pickup Lines to Make Your Crush Happy

Dark humor might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it can be hilarious when the target audience enjoys it.

It is not much different with dark pickup lines, either! Humor is the subject; if your person of interest is down for it, these dark pickup lines can work wonders! Warning, though! 21st century is not the perfect time to make risky jokes, so plan.

You should be fine if it is not too offensive and funny! This article is all you will ever need if you are looking for dark pickup lines. This list contains the creepiest, scariest and weirdest pickup lines that will leave your target (or most likely victim in this case) baffled with the sudden dark turns. Buckle up!

Funny Dark Pickup lines

It is common knowledge that when something is funnier than offensive, it is not offensive anymore! (I just made that up, by the way). Go through this list of funny dark pickup lines!

You might die tomorrow. There is no need to miss the chance to go out with me.

Can you tell me how I can get the STUD? I have got the STD part sorted now. All I need is U!

What kind of music do you usually listen to? What are your thoughts on heavy metal? I can give you a reason to scream like that, trust me.

 I love makeup! Even at funerals, they do not do such a fantastic job!

You are one of the only people who look good from close up.

There must be something wrong with my eyesight… I need to see an eye doctor… It has been several nights that I can not stop watching you.

Will you go out with me? I’d hate spiking your drink, you know.

Damn, the last time I saw someone with such a great body as yours was in my basement!

Have you had a light bulb for breakfast? You are glowing!

Hey, I am new here. Can you point me in the direction of your apartment?

I like my women the way I like chicken. All packed tight and stored in my freezer until I start getting hungry.

Do you like candy, by any chance? I have got a bunch in my van, and it is parked right outside.

Dark Pickup Lines

Crazy Dark Pickup Lines

We admit that dark jokes can be pretty crazy, but that does not mean they have no audience! We are sure that if the person on the receiving end finds dark humor funny, you can secure a date with this list of crazy dark pickup lines!

I can not describe your looks in words. It is beyond me! I suppose you were made in the dark.

There is a thin line between a partner and a psycho. I can be both for you, though, baby.

Are you a rope by any chance? Because I would hang with you.

I hope your dad is not in jail or anything… If I were your papa, I would probably end up in prison real quick.

Do you want to know how I like my women? I like them the exact way I prefer my coffee. Black and zip locked in an airtight bag, preferably stacked in the deep freezer.

It is a pleasant surprise that you turned out to look way more beautiful in person than you did when I used to watch you through my telescope.

Are you a toaster? So hot, and I would love to get in the bathtub with you.

Oh, I thought it was you! Damn did not recognize you outside of your nightgown.

That wish you made when you were little finally came true. That is precisely why I am here.

The thought of you agreeing to date me makes me want to live a bit longer.

Do you not feel the cold stares from the people around? Come and let us get out of here together.

Your dress is so gorgeous. Can you tell how else it will look even prettier? Crumpled in a bunch on the floor like you will never need it anymore.

Crazy Dark Pickup Lines

Cheesy Dark Pickup Lines

Just because a pickup line involves dark humor does not necessarily mean it can not be cheesy! You are at the perfect place if you are looking for cheesy dark pickup lines!

If I receive the opportunity to transform into anything on this earth, I will choose to be the water you take a bath in.

Hey girl, are you a gun by any chance? Because I would like to introduce you to everyone in my family

You have been jogging through my mind constantly all day. Are you not tired? Here drink this, do not be afraid just because we are at a bar and I am a stranger.

I only got so sweaty from seeing someone when it was the police. You do not look like you would follow the law so strictly.

Do you have a partner? No? Good, so then I won’t get in trouble later.

Damn, girl, you are so beautiful. I want to stay with you long enough to say that over your corpse.

I may not be Batman, but you know how to make my dark knight rise.

Hey girl, I have a blocked nose. Can you tell me if this towel smells like chloroform?

Hey, what do you think? Should I wait for you outside my van, or will your closet be better?

Don’t you worry, I am a close friend of your parents! Now come, we are going for a ride.

You know, looks do kill. That is why you are single now. Oh well, let me introduce myself.

I think there is something wrong with my phone; put your number in it, and let us see if it helps.

Cheesy Dark Pickup Lines

Rare Dark Pickup Lines

If you use these pickup lines, chances are you are the first to do so! These are the perfect rare dark pickup lines for you to use when in need!

Your skin is the perfect material I can think of to make a lampshade because my life is lit up by you.

I wish I were your socks so I could follow you with every step you take.

I just wanted to tell you that out of all the smiles that I have ever seen, and you have the prettiest smile when you sleep at night.

It is hard to concentrate when you are around me because all my blood leaves my brain and rushes somewhere else.

Every time you walk past me, a strange voice in my head says, “get in my car.” I hope the agent does not take over and force you to do it.

Hey baby, I almost failed to recognize you! You look so much different now that I see you up close and with clothes on!

Apparently, bats have good vision in the dark. My bat can do so much more in the night, and you should come to find out.

Hey girl, does your name happen to be suicide by any chance? That would explain why I think about you so often.

How about you and I give a little surprise to our roommates and not come back to our dorms on time tonight?

I have written about you for a few hundred pages in my journal. Would you be interested to read that by any chance?

How do you fancy a car ride in a dark parking lot at midnight with not another living soul around?

Best Dark Pickup Lines Ever

When it comes to dark pickup lines, there are a million to choose from. But if you are on the hunt for the best dark pickup line, fear no more; you have got you covered!

Hey girl, there is this particular movie my mom said I would have to be with someone to watch. What do you say?

I am barely ever bothered by anything, but your company’s lack is disturbing.

I just wanted to know if you think it is possible for me to borrow that dress from you sometime.


Just wondering, would you ask your mommy to keep me if I follow you home?

When I look at you, I get reminded of Pokemon. I want Pikachu. I also plan to trap you in a plastic ball and keep you with me forever.

Hey girl, Wondering how I got your number. You were texting your boyfriend, and I peeked over your shoulder.

My immense love for you made me pay a ridiculous amount for the most expensive binoculars I could get my hands on. You can not tell me that it is not romantic.

Remember the last time I asked you, and you said my nose was strange? Well, I got rid of it. Will you go out with me now?

I can not wait for you to pass out after this drink so that I can perform CPR on you.

What is shared between you and me, and hot chocolate and marshmallows? You are hot, and the only place I want to be is on top of you.

Awesome Dark Pickup Lines

Pickup lines can be dark and fantastic, and you do not have to choose! We have compiled excellent dark pickup lines to make it easier for you to choose from!

I love your shirt. Does it have writing on it? I am blind, so I have to read it in Braille. No need to take it off, though.

I want a clone of you for personal use. Can I rip off a strand of your beautiful hair so I can clone you?

I do not understand how you are not tired yet. Ever since I saw you this morning, you have constantly been running a naked marathon in my head.

Do you know the difference between a knife and a Ferrari? I do not have a Ferrari tucked in my waist right now. Do you want to go back to my place?

Considering how soft your skin is, it would make the perfect blanket for me to use.

My dog died a year ago. Do you want to go back to my place and play with him?

I hope I am reincarnated soon as your son so I can be inside you for nine long months.

Hey girl, I am not religious, but my house is a church, and pretty girls like you go there and get on their knees.

Do you happen to be an archeologist by any chance? It would be best if you considered digging up my backyard. Trust me; you will never leave the place with how many exciting things you find.

Come on, girl, do not be so selfish! You have had that body for so long. Why is it such a big deal if I want it for a day?

Would you marry me if I suffered from AIDS? [No.] Well, good news, I am not, so can we get married now?

We should probably go back to my house and do all the things that I will tell people we did anyways. Sounds good?

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